What do Kanye West, Serena Williams and Rep. Joe Wilson have in common? They’re all card-carrying members of the contemporary club I call, “Mama Forgot To Teach Me Some Manners”.

Likewise, what do Beyoncé, Kim Clijsters and Barack Obama share in common? You guessed it: all members of the club, “Folks Whose Classy Mothers Taught Them To Behave in Public”.

Lots of nice perks come with public life. Generally speaking these include a varying combination of money, fame and power; all fun things to have. But along with those benefits come a few responsibilities. In return we expect that you won’t behave boorishly in front of our kids and then refuse to offer an authentic apology to those whom you’ve offended. Kids look up to you and like it or not, you’re role models.

I was raised by people who emphasized manners. And when I say, “emphasized” I mean that it was a requirement in all that we did and said and there were no exceptions. There were meaningful consequences when we forgot our manners in public. We were expected to behave a certain way which included saying “please” and “thank you” at the appropriate times, and calling someone else names was taboo. When we hurt someone, we were taught to offer a heart-felt apology, which required examining and changing our own behavior. I applied that same philosophy to the rearing of my own three kids, and now do so with my four grandchildren as well.

An authentic apology has a few identifiable characteristics:

1) It occurs because the offending person understands that what they did was wrong, not because a failure to apologize will cost them, and not because someone else is requiring them to apologize.

2) The offending person states what he/she did wrong and says, “I’m sorry”. Fake apologies go something like this: “If I did such-and-such and if it offended anyone, then I’m sorry”. That’s not an apology. It’s a conditional statement that throws blame back on the person offended and denies any real acknowledgement of wrongdoing.

3) A true apology gives a clear indication of the offender’s intention not to repeat the offense. (After all, if you realize you made a mistake, why would you want to make it again?)

Now I know inappropriate public behavior is nothing new, but it certainly seems to be happening with alarming frequency lately. The more often it occurs, the more of a trend it sets, lowering the bar on what we as a society consider appropriate behavior. When we let rudeness go unchecked without consequence, we can be assured it will occur with greater frequency in the future.

You know those bumper stickers seen on the backs of trucks that read: “How’s my driving? Call (phone number)”? Maybe we ought to stick something similar on the behinds of movie stars, recording artists, professional athletes and elected officials:

I have a hunch some things would change.

Clearly I’m not a frequent blogger, being that my last post was erm… December of last year? Wow. Worse than I thought.

Today I’m breaking the lengthy hiatus.

I’ve largely avoided getting into a heated debate over health care reform, and I’m not here to engage in one now. But something has come to my attention that I just have to share.

Several personalities have appeared on TV recently toting gigantic, apparently heavy copies of this health reform bill and slamming them down on a desk with a big thud, giving the impression that it’s some ridiculously huge volume that would take a rocket scientist a year to read.

For instance:

Big-Heavy-Unreadable-Bill – part one

Big-Heavy-Unreadable-Bill – part two

It certainly looked foreboding and intimidating to me… until I decided to Google it, download the thing and take a look at it with my own eyes. Here’s what I found:

H.R. 3200 is not that hard to read, is not nearly as lengthy as you might think, it’s not written in obscure legalese beyond the average person’s comprehension, and it’s freely available online.

Read H.R. 3200 online

H.R. 3200 Downloadable PDF

It’s double spaced in large print with wide margins in order to give ample room for legislators to mark it up. If it was reformatted for normal reading, it would probably be a mid-sized book of about 300 pages or so.

I’m no rocket scientist. Not even close. I’m an average person, of average intelligence who only completed one year of college. But I downloaded this bill and am reading and understanding it with no problem. If I can, then anyone can.

When we don’t read things for ourselves, the potential then exists for us to hear and believe and adopt other peoples’ opinions about an issue. While I can’t prove it, I suspect that many people (on both sides) who are publicly sharing passionate opinions on this topic have not actually read H.R. 3200. Heck, even some legislators admit they haven’t read it.

My point is that anything we hear from a third party has two inherent problems:

1) It may not be the truth.

2) We’re all human, and everyone tends to carry a personal bias, no matter what the topic.

I figure the only way to avoid those problems is to just read the thing myself and make up my own mind. I invite you to do the same.

Here’s a related thought. I’ve spent a lot of time over the years watching a wide variety of network news programs and here’s my observation: All news networks are biased; some to the left, some to the right. And it’s not really a problem so long as we realize that. News anchors and reporters are human and have opinions just like everybody else. So I’ve decided to watch our lawmakers in session for myself on C-SPAN. In doing so, I’m hearing what they say every day in its original context, while cutting out the middle man (or woman) who may be reporting that same action out of context, through the filter of a biased opinion.

I think we Americans are some of the luckiest people on earth. We can go online, download any bill introduced by our lawmakers and read the entire thing. We can tune in to C-SPAN and watch first-hand what our elected officials are actually doing and saying on our behalf.

Why should we not do so?

I really should pay more attention to my blog’s stats reports. Just happened to check those this morning and noticed a lot of traffic coming this way from smashingmagazine.com. Lo and behold, it seems my blog made their Top 50 Beautiful Blog Designs list. Whoah!

I’d love to take the credit, but the truth is that my son is responsible for Lynnterpretation’s snazzy retro design. Toby has been working alongside me since his graduation from college, and to be honest, I’ve learned just as much from him as he has from me. We have more fun than any two people should really be allowed to have at work, including frequent, spontaneous badminton tournaments, leisurely bike rides and hourly snack breaks.

Thanks, “Mini-me”. You can’t begin to fathom how proud I am of you.

Just my Lynnterpretation.

My attention was drawn this morning to a video short posted by Ad Age.

It reminds me of a little guessing game we play in this family. We’re deeply intrigued with the inventors of handy gadgetry. The latest, greatest invention always sparks an instant debate over whether its creator was male or female, based upon the level of intuitiveness and real-world usefulness of the design. Now nothing against you guys out there, but when males invent things intended for use by women, a great deal of the time we don’t understand what you could possibly have been thinking. Our needs are different from yours, our brains are wired differently, and if you really want to market an item to us, you have to think like we do.

Before going any further with this, let me tell you why you should care. It’s standard marketing wisdom that women control 80% of all household purchases. That’s why marketers of household supplies, kids’ gear, food, cosmetics and clothes are good at reaching women. But women buy gender-neutral stuff, too: cars, auto services, technology; the list includes everything but Viagra. Women today influence 85% of automobile buying decisions, according to GM. They also purchase 65% of new cars. Women make 75% of all healthcare decisions, whether for themselves or their families, according to a recent report from the Pew Internet & American Life Project. They also make up more than half of all health consumers.

Now if you’re married or have a serious relationship with a female, you don’t need to read this next paragraph. (You could write it.) Let me tell you how the consumer world works in general. We ladies make most of the buying decisions for our families. Shopping is what we do and boy are we good at it. We also like the most bang for a buck and don’t tend to buy useless junk. We invest our money in the stuff we find truly useful; things that will make our daily lives easier. If you make a clutzy can opener that’s difficult and messy to operate, we’ll buy someone else’s can opener instead, but we won’t stop there. We’ll waste no time in calling all of our gal pals to warn them about your really dreadful can opener so they don’t make the same mistake. Kaboom: instant viral marketing, and believe me, we have a lot of friends on speed dial.

In short, what women want right now is attention to detail in product design and service; the right choices, not endless choices; and a more thorough, thoughtful selling process that respects our desire to understand what we’re buying before we take it home. We also care deeply about customer service. Women make final purchasing decisions based on the relationship with the seller, not on statistics and quantitative data. Given a choice between two nearly identical products, women are likely to decide based upon customer service and the ongoing relationship with the vendor. If you take care of us after we purchase your product, you’ve got a loyal customer for life.

We also prefer simple, straight-forward instructions over 200-page manuals, not because we’re incapable of understanding but simply because we don’t have time to read through pages and pages of instructions to get to the operational basics. Most of us are uber-multitasking with families and careers to balance. Quick start manuals are a girl’s best friend.

All in all, we’re a formidable force to be reckoned with in today’s marketplace. Why do you think we carry these big handbags anyway?

Just my Lynnterpretation.

Yesterday I celebrated my 53rd birthday. Sounds old, but I’d honestly rather be 53 than 43, 33, or even 23. Being middle-aged isn’t as bad as you might think. For instance, if you forget an important date, folks are more likely to cut you a break. You can be shockingly blunt and get away with it. If your clothes don’t happen to match, people just kind of blow it off. After all, you’re “middle-aged”. It’s a license to do most anything really. Run with it.

It’s also an age when you tend to analyze your life and rearrange priorities. When you’re young, it’s easy to be convinced that you’re immortal and assume there’s going to be plenty time for everything. There’s nothing like middle age to shoot the hell out of that theory. Some things just have to go, and by mid-life, you know exactly what they are. No more spending time with people who bore you. No more attending social events you don’t really want to sit through. You start buying clothes just because they’re comfortable and throw away all those attractive but torturous heels. FYI, Dr. Scholl’s makes some sandals that feel like your bedroom slippers. They’re the only shoes I own, with the exception of my trusty work out shoes.

At age 50, I decided to make a “bucket list”.  I’ve checked off most everything already, since time is closing in quickly. The list is rather short, and I’m sharing it in hopes it’ll inspire you…

Renew old friendships

There’s no friend like an old friend. They know all about you and love you anyway. We all have friends we’ve lost touch with through the years. This summer I decided to do something about that. I looked up two pals from the past. We spent time laughing together, ate good food, filled in the missing years’ events, and in one case, we even…

Climbed Harney Peak

The highest point in North America west of the Rockies, it’s not an easy trek. My girlfriend, two years my senior, was ahead of me most of the way, which was a little embarrassing, but by the time we reached the summit we felt like we’d climbed Mt. Everest. Now this is especially notable when you understand I’m terrified of heights. Not only did I survive, but one month later, did a repeat performance with my son and grandson.

Master the violin

I’ve played just about every other instrument, but the violin always seemed foreboding. It sounded particularly difficult to learn, since I was told it involves math, and I suck at math. Upon turning 50, I invested in a year’s worth of lessons, then took off on my own playing Bluegrass by ear. And you know what? It wasn’t as hard as I thought it’d be. You’ll find that’s the case with most things in life.

Cut the fat

I’m not just talking about getting in physical shape here, but in cutting excesses from every corner of life. That means nixing any toxic relationships, streamlining household tasks, and just letting a lot of things go. Try it; it’s tremendously freeing.

Live life large

Every day is an adventure, or at least it should be. When you wake up in the morning, the possibilities are endless. Every day could also be your last, much as we don’t like to think about that. Mortality becomes more of a reality after 50. Make every day count.

Live to 100  (pending)

This is one I’ve been working on since the birth of my first grandson 12 years ago. The start of a new generation creates a marvelous impetus to living longer. I have a burning desire to see who they marry, watch them discover meaningful occupations, and look forward to meeting my great-grandchildren. It means you quit smoking, get off the couch, and watch what you put in your mouth. To that goal, I presently walk 2 miles every morning, followed by a 2-mile swim and a half hour of circuit training. I’m a mostly-vegetarian these days, after realizing that red meat is probably killing us slowly. I say mostly, since occasionally everyone has a burning need for a big ol’ greasy cheeseburger. Know what else is killing us? Processed sugar and white flour. Why put stuff in your body that doesn’t do you any good? Sounds radical, but after a while you don’t really miss it. Your brain needs exercise too, so don’t forget that. Challenge yourself to learn new things, even impossible things. You’ll be surprised.

Now clearly, the list is getting short, and I’m nowhere near ready to die yet, so I’ll have to think up a few more items to add. Which means you’ll need to come back for another chapter in the continuing saga of “My Life from Zero to One Hundred”.

All in all, 53 isn’t so bad; and in any case, it beats the alternative.

Just my Lynnterpretation.